School Answering Machine

OK...I heard this the other morning on my way to work. See what you think. I am a teacher, so this really struck me as pretty funny. I am not making any personal judgements or accusations against anyone personally...I just thought this was amusing. There is my disclaimer.

It came from jjanderic.afr.net.


School Answering Machine

Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your child's school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all options before making a selection:

To lie about why your child is absent, Press 1.

To make excuses for why your child did not do his/her homework, Press 2.

To complain about what we do, Press 3.

To verbally abuse our staff members, Press 4.

To ask why you did not get needed information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several bulletins mailed to you, Press 5.

If you want us to raise your child, Press 6.

If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone, Press 7.

To request another teacher for the third time this year, Press 8.

To complain about bus transportation, Press 9.

To complain about school lunches, Press 0.

If you realize that this is the real world and your child must be accountable/responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it is not the teacher's fault for your child's lack of effort, please hang up and have a nice day!!