Ephesians

Where do I even start?  I was asked to speak in the morning at our community Bible study wrap-up a few weeks ago.  I knew God is good and that I was sure I would always have something to say because, well, He saved me, etc.  Lots of good to talk about.
I had no idea of the work that God would do in my heart.  I have been saved a long time.  I mean over 25 years.  I guess I just didn't expect God to do any more in my life.  I think I probably asked Him, but realistically didn't expect anything else to change.

I feel like I have been saved, again.  I feel like I would not recognize myself if I looked in the mirror because I am a different person than I was before.

For as long as I can remember I have dealt with bitterness, depression, paranoia, etc.  I would praise God out of one side of my mouth, but not be able to fight the feelings that were inside. I think I would feel justified in being critical of other Christians, people, etc.  I'm not sure why, but I always seemed to feel sorry for myself.

I could go on and on that I let this go on for a long time.  I would want to be happy and to be able to truly love people freely, but would always be plagued with these feelings.  They were like a family pet.  Someone close to me said that they didn't think I wanted to be happy.

Some truths that God has used to transform my life with these past few months:
- I have a choice to live as a new creation in Christ....to accept the power that has been given to me....the same power that raised Jesus from the dead, or to stay the same.....dead....in my own sins.
- My flesh is a strong force.  I do have an enemy, too, but he only has the power that I give him.
- I was created for a purpose....even for good works that were prepared in advance for me.  I don't have to be ashamed of the gift that God has given me.  It is a tool to be used for Him.  Just like when Eric Liddell said that when he ran he felt God's pleasure, I can enjoy singing....it was given to me an it is OK.  It is not useless like I have thought in the past.  When I sing I feel God's pleasure.  He made me this way.  I am going to sing at the top of my lungs for His glory!
- Everyone on this earth is not my enemy.  I can and will assume the best.  It is OK to be happy.  Yes, there are really people who live in God's peace.  I didn't really believe it.  I think I thought that people must have ulterior motives in everything.  How could some people be so nice? Well, you become different when you let God's spirit live in you.  He makes you different.
- I have a calling.....to live for Christ.  I am not my own.  It is time to woman up and to step outside my own comfort zone and see the needs around me.
- It is a blessing to submit to others and love people just because you do.  No strings attached.  Not like in junior high when I wanted people to like me so much and to vote for me for cheerleader.  I don't think I was a bad person back then, but people were votes to me.  Now, I love people and see them for the creations of  God they are.  I think about their hearts, their souls.  I don't always have the strength or knowledge to know what to do for people, but I am going to do the next thing the Holy Spirit puts on my heart.
- I am going to quit questioning my thoughts and think about what others might think of me.  It's not really my business and it does nothing to bring me closer to Christ.
- I am nothing without Christ.  I am totally grateful for the life He has put in me.  I am alive.
- I am not perfect and am sure that I will fight the flesh and the enemy of our souls, but I am not alone.  Like my wise youth director growing up said "A christian is someone who gets up one more time than he falls down."  I will live like this and show this kind of grace to others.
- I can't do any of this on my own.  I need to be filled daily, hourly with the Holy Spirit.
- If I feel like this, then a lot of other people probably do, too, and would be blessed by hearing about what God has done in my life.
- I am burdened for my children who have lived with my bitterness.  I am praying that we break this cycle of bitterness and that they, too, can live.
- ASSUME THE BEST!!  And above all....LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE!
The Bible is my food.  Stay in it and grow....be fed.  Don't be timid.  Being timid does nothing for anyone, except keeping yourself and others from a blessing.
I love you, Lord.  And I lift my voice, to worship you, oh my soul rejoice, take joy, my King, in what you hear....may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.
Have a very blessed week everybody.  See you in the morning, Community Bible Study. Thank you, Joan, for inviting me to go with you last August.

Good grief, God is good!

Tomorrow is President's Day and the kids and I are going to be at home.  Matt is going to Ashland for staff development.  He is very thankful to actually have a staff development that he has to attend.

I guess it is just one of those day when I am overwhelmed at how blessed we are.  God has been faithful at every turn in our lives.  From the health of our family to providing financially, He has been way better than we deserve. 

God has blessed with that peace that passes all understanding.  No matter what lies ahead of us, I pray that we will always keep focused on the fact that He is so worthy to be praised in any circumstance.   My only concern is that we are not doing enough to live for Him.  I hate realizing that I am so human.  It is frustrating to do the things I don't want to do and to not do what I want to do.  I hate when I lose my temper or worry about the future.  It is amazing that we serve a God that loves us anyway.

We are blessed to be teaching at Batesville and Hickory Flat, for Matt to be teaching guitar lessons and to be working with the youth at our church.  My prayer is that we would do all we can in each of these places to glorify God.  Who knows what the future will bring, but I pray that we would approach it all with grace, trusting God at every turn.

We are coming up to one of the most special times of the year.  Passover, Good Friday, Resurrection Sunday are the most important for all believers.  I pray that as it approaches we all would realize what it all means to each of our lives.

God bless!

I waited patiently for the Lord.....I will sing....sing a new song......("40" by U2)

So much has happened since my last update that I will not even try to completely catch up.  The school year has basically ended and summer is in sight!!  I have one more day with students and three teacher days. 

First I want to thank everyone for all of the sweet wishes, cards, presents and presence at my 40th birthday party.  I was overwhelmed that Matt did so much to make my birthday special.  I could write a long time about the lengths he went to to be sneaky....including having my realtor call me to set up an "appointment" and having my own mother pretend to neglect me. :)  It was wonderful!!

As summer approaches, we are trying to get ahead by planning our upcoming youth/school/family activities.

Our first big thing is our church's upcoming VBS that will happen June 13th through 17th at Taylor BC near Oxford.  This is the first time that Matt and I will be directors of VBS.  I am understating it to say that organization is not our spiritual gift.  Nevertheless, God has given us this place and we won't question why.  :)

We have several other things going on with our youth and church family throughout June and July.  In between all of this I am really looking forward to spending time with our families.

We're not really sure yet what our exact direction will be next year, but God has blessed Matt with his guitar lessons so much that he could really do that full time.  It is all in His hands.  I am, again, fighting my impulse to worry.  : ) 

I guess that is about all for now.  Matt is coming to school to help me build cubbies in my choir room tomorrow.  Take care and God bless. 

Jones Family Circus, long time no see.....

It has been a while since I have blogged.  Life and facebook have cut into my time.  It is amazing to me how things change in life.  It is so easy to wake up and realize that you have taken the routine for granted.  This has been the most surreal year.  

First, Matthew left for MC and really hasn't been home because of football games, etc.  For years we were together with no thought at all of things ever being different, and then he left.  I am so happy that he is having a great time at school, but it is still strange with him not being home.  We miss his face.  It will be so great to see him Tuesday.   

We were in a transition with jobs, churches, etc. and then God led us to a wonderful group of people at Taylor BC.  It has been such a blessing to work with the youth and see our old friends. 

This school year has been so much better than last year, but still so tough.  I know God has put me there for a reason, but it is so hard for my personality to be tough enough to be a strong teacher.  Even with the best intentions, it is still not good enough.  If anyone ever needed Thanksgiving break, it was me, now.  So very frustrating.  I get overwhelmed and then disappoint myself when I lose my temper and don't behave like I want to. 

So, today is the first day of Thanksgiving holidays.  I am going to soak up every bit of  this break.  2010 is about over.  I know God has a plan for our family for Matt finding a full-time job and us settling down.  I am going to remember my trust in Him as we go through this time.  He is going to take care of us.  

I guess I need to remember that all things do work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.  That is such a comforting thing.  Even in our failures, He loves us completely and no less.  Thank goodness we can't earn His love.  We already have it. 


Now Matt is in here playing jazz guitar Christmas music. Ahhhh..................
Great end to the evening.  Take care, everybody.  I pray that you will know that comfort of knowing God and walking with Him. 


Have a great Thanksgiving!!

  

Benny's latest

I am loving Benjamin's latest artwork. He has always loved sharks and sharks being not so nice to people.

Interesting times.....

This has been just about the strangest year of my life.  It is like God is just saying wait a while on.....something.  I know that He is in total control and I trust Him, but am ready to find where we are supposed to be and get busy.  Maybe that is what is going on.  Maybe He is just letting me get so excited about serving Him....wherever.  I see and hear about so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ being busy serving God in different places and in different ways.  It feels good in a way to know that I didn't go to church or try to serve God because Matt was on staff as worship leader, but because I really do love God and really do want to lead others to Him.  That, God has made very clear to me. 

Along these lines....it is tough finding the right place to serve God right now.  This is a huge compliment to the churches in Oxford.  There are so many great churches that are loving people and are preaching His word.  We could go to just about any of these churches.  Right now, Matthew has really gotten plugged in at North Oxford BC.  We have visited there and it is great.  We also have gone to the Orchard, and have loved it.  They are different, but are both great.  We also visited Grace and First Baptist.  All great. 

We have great friends at all of these churches and could just about see ourselves at any.  We are ready to get involved, though, so please pray for us as we seek God in this.  Please pray for us, also, about career directions.  Matt has a real heart for leading worship, but he also loves teaching.  He had always had the dream to lead worship full-time.  He has opportunities in teaching, but God hasn't opened any doors as far as worship leading full-time.  It may just not be the right season.  We have loved going to home fellowship with a group of folks from FB and Grace.  It has been great worshipping and studying the Bible in this small setting.  

April and May are going to be full for our family starting off with Jacob's birthday on April 2.  Then Matt is going to be busy getting his guitar and choir concerts together.  After all of those, I have concerts, etc. at my school, and then Matthew has all of his graduation activities.  He and Benjamin will also have their band concerts.  Whew! 

I am excited about what God is doing in our lives and what I see Him doing in our friends' lives around the world.  He is so awesome!  My job has been a huge blessing and I am looking forward to see what is coming in the future.  God bless.

Update 2/1/10

So much has happened since my last post.  I think last time it was almost November and we were getting ready for the Thanksgiving feast at North Oxford.  Well, that all went great, as did Christmas.  The Christmas musical at New Prospect went great.  So many working together.  Christmas was such a blessing, too.  As always.  God reveals Himself in a new way each year, it seems.  The story of Him being born in a manger may seem redundant, etc., but when you think about what it all really means and you have a relationship with Him, it is awesome! 

New Year's was great, too.  So much good family time.  Over Christmas holidays I also made a change.  God just dropped a new job in my lap.  I found out about Batesville Junior High needing a new choral director.  I made a call and met the principal.  It worked out great and I have been there a month now.  It was tough leaving my little people.  It tore me up calling my boss and telling her, but I knew there was a reason God was moving me.  I would soon find out.

We don't always understand it, but God also closes doors.  We are no longer at New Prospect BC where we had been for 3 years.  Leaving there was unlike anything I had experienced.  It was, sadly, messy and I don't think it pleased God too much, but I just have to trust that it was all in His plan.  Even though it hurt incredibly, and the church just thinks that our family "left", I know it will all be OK.  I do have a certain peace about it.  I just can't think about the church right now without getting pretty bitter.  Especially when we were there for 3 years and have barely talked to the people there except a select few.  I guess it is just too awkward for most to approach us.  Maybe they just don't care.  ???

I know this will ease in time.  We have been able to go to my mom's in Jackson and go to church with her, though. (something we couldn't do while on staff) We have also visited North Oxford and are going to FB on Wednesday nights to take the kids to Awana.  Who knows where we will end up.  We are planning on visiting our friend's church, The Orchard, really soon, too.  We'll see. 

I am so thankful that God has given me a family that I love and loves me and the ability to love the people I come in contact.  He has given me a job that lets me work with kids and share His love with them.  It's all good! 

Well, that's all for now.  Hope you are all doing well.